Your Quiet Influence Quotient (QIQ)

"What I want most to do is be influential."

- Philip Johnson, Architect

Would you like to know how well you perform as a Quiet Influencer? Start by taking this quiz to determine your Quiet Influence Quotient—your "QIQ." This tool will let you know how effective you are at using each of the Six Strengths and give you a way to assess your progress as you apply the ideas in the book.

Based on actions that demonstrate the strengths that set Quiet Influencers apart, the QIQ will also give you an idea of how much you have in common with highly effective Quiet Influencers. Assess yourself by indicating how often you engage in these behaviors, using a scale from 1 (never) to 5 (almost always). A caution: Try not to overanalyze the questions. Your initial response is usually the most valid. Also avoid being too tough or easy a critic. Instead, when you respond, be as objective as possible.

1. I take time to be quiet each day.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
2. I effectively tune out distractions.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
3. I use my quiet time to engage in self-reflection and planning.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
4. I develop clear plans to achieve my influencing goals.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
5. I conduct research as preparation for influencing.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
6. I adapt my plans to respond to changing conditions and responses.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
7. When listening, I act as a sounding board for others.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
8. I tune into another's voice and body language to understand their message at a deeper level.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
9. I ask focused questions that help people to move forward.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
10. I use conversations as a vehicle to problem solve with others.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
11. I share relevant personal information during conversations.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
12. I make an effort to schedule one-on-one conversations, whether face-to-face or by phone.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
13. I consider the receivers' preferred communication style when writing to them.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
14. I put effort into my writing when communicating my position.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
15. I pay attention to details like grammar, spelling and punctuation when writing to influence.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
16. I make thoughtful choices about which social media platforms are right for me.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
17. I actively engage in dialogues through social media applications, contributing ideas as well as reading others' postings.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always
18. I use social media to initiate and/or support relationships.	1 Never	2 Rarely	3 Sometimes	4 Often	5 Almost Always

The Quiet Influence Process: Combining the Six Strengths

Through observation and interviews with numerous Quiet Influencers, I have identified the six strengths that introverts embrace to achieve an impact:

1. Taking Quiet Time
2. Preparation
3. Engaged Listening
4. Focused Conversations
5. Writing
6. Thoughtful Use of Social Media

Figure 2.1: The Quiet Influence Process

Each strength, by itself, is a powerful lever of influence; when put together, the power of the strengths multiplies. Introverts typically combine the strengths into The Quiet Influence Process shown in Figure 2.1. More or less sequential, it starts with Taking Quiet Time. Quiet Influencers begin their influencing journey where they think and recharge best: in quiet. Being silent provides energy, increases self-awareness, and spurs creativity. Introverts return to quiet time frequently in order to recharge and reflect.

Next comes Preparation. Careful preparation gets Quiet Influencers ready for all types of situations by increasing their knowledge and poising them to address potential objections. Through creating a strategy and asking questions, they become more comfortable and confident in their efforts to influence others.

The synergistic strengths of Taking Quiet Time and Preparation combine to form a strong core for the other strengths. With the confidence that comes from tapping into these fundamental strengths, Quiet Influencers move forward out of their own heads and into interactions with others.

They then bring one or more of the next four strengths to bear on the situation. They may tap into their innate strength in Engaged Listening to build rapport and mutual understanding. Or they may decide to engage in two-way, one-on-one, or small-group interactions. These Focused Conversations are purpose-driven dialogues in which they problem solve and work through conflicts with others. Another path they take uses their natural strength of Writing. Through this specialty, they articulate authentic, well-developed positions to make a difference with others. Finally, Quiet Influencers consider how social media platforms can advance their cause. They draw upon their strength of Thoughtful Use of Social Media to reach a previously untapped, broad, or distant audience.

Because they tend to have patience and perseverance, Quiet Influencers don't need to follow the most direct route to an outcome. Although the strengths fit together in the order described, Quiet Influencers often loop back and forth, returning to Taking Quiet Time and Preparation to rebuild energy or confidence, going back to listen for more information to adapt a plan or feed their ideas, or alternating between the verbal interaction offered by Focused Conversations and Writing.

Keep in mind that to succeed as a Quiet Influencer, you don't have to be good in all Six Strengths. Every Quiet Influencer mixes these strengths in different ways according to his or her own personality, needs, and situation. In other words, the Quiet Influence Process is not a formula that requires equal measures of each strength in each case.

Later on we include a quiz that will help you assess your Quiet Influence Quotient (QIQ), a measurement of how effective you are at using each of the Six Strengths. In the subsequent chapters, you will then explore each of those strengths. You'll read stories, gain practical tips, and even learn when too much of a strength can become a liability.

If you enhance your own quiet strengths, you will make a difference by challenging the status quo, provoking new ways of thinking, effecting change and inspiring others to move forward in ways that magnify who you are and bring forth your passion. Passion does not have to be expressed with fiery words and expressive body language. It can also be a fire burning within. For Quiet Influencers, that internal blaze sparks the courage, creativity, tenacity, and drive that underpin influence. As you read the stories and quotes in this book, keep an eye out for various forms of passion that ignite the Quiet Influencers' desire to make a difference.

Overview of Making a Difference

"In every performance review, I'm told I need to speak up more. That I need to spend less time in my office with my door closed. My boss says I have to 'sell' my ideas with more enthusiasm. My co-workers say that I need to be more of a 'team player' and less of a 'report generator.' Believe me, I've tried. It seems that when I try to develop those skills, though, I'm just acting like someone else. I feel as if I have less of an impact rather than more. How can I be me and still make a difference?"

Sari sighed and shrugged her shoulders with more than a hint of frustration as she posed the question to me during a workshop I was leading at her company. I've been asked a similar question many times, and I always feel a sense of sorrow in answering. The reality is that introverts are indeed continually asked to adapt to an extrovert-centric workplace that rewards being out there and on stage. Organisational cultures support those who talk about their accomplishments, who spend more time out and about networking instead of alone deep in thought, and who make sure they are the first to get their ideas heard.

If you are an introvert, you probably feel as perplexed and under appreciated as Sari. Know that you are not alone and that there is a solution—one that not only Honor's who you are but also dramatically and immediately ramps up your ability to make a difference at work. Quiet Influence gives you that solution and shows that it resides precisely in the place where you are most comfortable: deep inside yourself.

This book is not about how introverts need to adapt to an outgoing, extroverted world. Instead, it's about learning from the Quiet Influence rs among us who are making just as much, if not more, of a difference than their extroverted colleagues.

It's just that they are going about it in such a, well… quiet way that few seem to notice them. So many books about influence miss the mark, extolling a more extroverted approach that involves winning people over by talking things up, presenting great arguments and quickly and aggressively convincing others to do what they want them to do.

Over my years of working with introverted professionals and studying the process of influence, I have become convinced that introverts can be highly effective influencers when they stop trying to act like extroverts and instead make the most of their natural, quiet strengths.

Because you've probably tried the extroverted methods, why not take a walk on the quiet side? You can become a more effective influencer when you tap into your natural strengths, and in the pages that follow I'm going to show you how. You'll recognise your strengths and learn ways to enhance and magnify them. You will deepen your understanding of how introverts like you succeed at influence. If you are open to building on your natural strengths through conscious practise, you will perfect core skills, develop heightened sensibilities, and bump up your confidence to influence all kinds of people and situations. As a result, you will greatly enhance your influencing success rate by embracing an alternative to traditionally western Type A approaches to interactions.

Perhaps you land more on the extroverted side of the line as someone energised by people and the outside world. Why not take a walk on the quiet side? Through this book, you will deepen your understanding of how introverts succeed at influence. You will find that learning from introverts offers an enlightening opportunity to balance out your own (likely louder) ways of influencing. If you are open to experimenting with a different side of yourself, you will greatly enhance your own influencing portfolio so that you can have a bigger impact in a wider variety of situations. You'll get noticed precisely because you are trying something new.